Legendary martial artist and philosopher Bruce Lee once said, “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
The man had a point.
Do you bicker with your significant other over things that really don’t matter? It happens to all of us at one point or another (me included!) and at times it can become paralysing.
But here’s the thing. You can stop it from manifesting, and you can stop it IMMEDIATELY.
It’s all about how you see things – and if you take a leaf out of Mr. Lee’s book, you’ll be well on your way.
Have a think back to the last argument or spat you had. What was it about?
Chances are, when you boil things down, it was that your partner didn’t meet your EXPECTATIONS.
They didn’t take out the bin.
They forgot to be at home 10 minutes early to leave for an appointment.
They weren’t paying attention.
So you got frustrated.
And one thing led to another and before you knew it…BLOW UP.
At the end of the day, does any of that small, insignificant stuff REALLY MATTER?
Not. One. Bit.
Imagine if you had put that time you spent arguing and carrying on to better use?
The solution to stopping the arguments and getting those hours back is simple – swap out your expectations for appreciation.
Change the channel.
Tune RIGHT IN.
Pay attention when they do the dishes.
Or buy your flowers.
Or call just to say hi.
If you stop focusing on your expectations not being met and instead focus on being grateful for all the amazing things they bring to your life, you’ll find you’ll both be MUCH happier.
You’ll also remember why you fell in love in the first place…
Prioritise gratitude and park your expectations FAR away.
You’ll be hella glad you did!
Steven Spielberg once said, “Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives.”
Preach, Spielberg – PREACH!
My relationship with technology can be summarised as love/hate at best and at times I’d even throw it out there as just plain toxic.
I have a theory about it all actually. Part of the reason so many of us are tired, angry, stressed, overworked, overweight and unhappy stems from our constant need to be hooked up and jacked in.
(News just in, I quickly Googled “Technology is killing us” and it came back with 322 million results, so I must be onto something…)
What IS actually going on?
Spielberg added, “It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we're too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria back to the office on the cell phone.”
That’s definitely part of the problem – the death of imagination.
Think about it.
What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Check your cellphone?
Then what do you do?
Turn on the TV?
And then what? Probably back to your phone…
And all for what?
And the worst part?
Most of that information is irrelevant and potentially noxious.
Do you really think the 3 hour stint you spent scrolling social media yesterday was serving you well?
Of course not! You’re FAR too smart for that!
So who’s in control here and what’s the fix?
Don’t forget that Facebook, Netflix and Instagram are not steering your ship – YOU ARE.
You’re in charge and you make the decisions around what to do with your time.
And the fix?
It’s pretty easy actually – DISCONNECT.
I don’t mean cancel you phone contract and your Netflix account.
I just mean tone back your dependency from crack-addicted-bunny-rabbit to highly functional human being.
Here’s my cheatsheet:
Not only will it be a giant sigh of relief not having to be constantly plugged in, but you can get back to basics. Get back to doing things you enjoy and the things that will enrich you as a person.
Visit a friend.
Walk the dog.
Get stuck back into your favorite hobby.
You’ll soon see that the great big disconnect is really a reconnection - with yourself.
Are you in A-GAME mode right now?
Are you SHOWING UP?
Or are you in ZOMBIE MODE?
Just GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS?
Don’t sweat it – I have a CURE for that.
Ask yourself these 3 QUESTIONS every morning when you get up:
1. What’s one thing I can get EXCITED about today?
Even on your most hectic, crazy days – there will be SOMETHING to get excited about. Even if it’s small, it’s still worthy of giddy, total excitement. Focus on that for a moment.
2. Who needs me to bring my A-Game today? Someone needs you today. And they need the BEST VERSION of you. Work out who that is and how you can serve them.
3. Who can I show appreciation to today? Write a note. Buy a gift. Pay someone a compliment. Show your appreciation in a special way for someone each and every day.
See what we did there?
No to-do list.
No eat this, stretch that.
No listen to this, watch that.
3 simple questions, 3 simple actions.
THAT MAKE YOU FEEL AMAZING.
When you start your day like that, how can you possibly lose?
BE THE BLACK SHEEP